You know, Arthur, when Evil is afoot and you don't have any arms, you gotta use your head. And when Evil is ahead, and you're behind, you've gotta do the legwork! But, when you can't get a leg up, you gotta be hip! you gotta keep your chin up and kick some...

Oh, look, Arthur! It's a completely rehabilitated villain. She's comfortable with herself. Comfort, commitment, marriage…what do these things have in common? The letter "C"…except for marriage. And if people get all British when they get knocked on the head…what do British people get? I know; comatose! Another "C"!

Oh, this changes everything, I feel...different, better! A new sensation is spreading out from my upper lip to every other part of my body! It's a feeling I...I can't quite describe. It's...It's a savvy kind of feeling...a suavy kind of feeling...kind of a, kind of a mustache feeling!

Rugged, self-assured, adult. These are the words that describe the man who wears a mustache. Yes, it says to the world I'm a man of action! But action tempered with maturity...like a fireman! or somebody's dad!

Isn't sanity really just a one trick pony, anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy ... ooh hoo hoo hoo ... the sky's the limit!

This is one small step for The Tick, and one giant step for ... say ... a little bug! or some guy who has been shrunk to the size of a penny!

I'm sure millions of viewers are out there just wondering what it's like to wear the tights of justice…well, it's tingly. It's uncomfortable, but it gets the job done.

You know, when a tomato grows out of your forehead, it gets you thinking. What do we know about anything? Life is just a big, wild, crazy tossed salad. But you don't eat it; no sir! You live it! Isn't it great? Isn't it great?

Be reasonable; you can't destroy everything! Where would you sit?

You know, I've heard that the smarter you are the wrinklier your brain; and your guys brains must be the wrinkliest! Oh, sure, ordinary Joes like me and Arthur here, maybe our brains are a little on the smooth side, but you don't have to be a genius to know that Evil is Bad! And Good…isn't!